Round 2

Johnny is resting right now after launching attack #2 on the evilness that is cancer. His infusion today went off without any problems. His labs were all marvelous, so that made me happy. It is a worry when you get chemo that your white blood cells (the infection fighters), red blood cells (the workhorse of the blood) and platelets (the clotters) will decrease and cause problems. No worries for that this time, thank the Good Lord.

We saw Dr. Ansari before his treatment and finally got the results from the specimens that were sent to Arizona. What we found out is that one chemo agent (that hadn't yet been started) is ineffective for Johnny's specific genetic make up and tissue sample. Another drug, however, will work and is an option for treatment later on.

We asked about chemo cycles and possible surgery dates. From the information that Dr. Ansari got back from Arizona, he thinks that the chemo is going to shrink the tumor in the liver and colon dramatically. If that is the case, we will delay surgery for another 6 cycles of chemo. If the tumors don't respond like he thinks, we will go ahead with the original plan of 6 cycles (2 done, 4 to go), re-scan, and then plan for surgery. I like the first option of 6 additional cycles, because that means the chemo is kickin' booty and the tumors will shrink to a size that is much easier to deal with surgically.

Johnny was given an additional medication today to deal with the nausea. It is called Emend. Before Dr. Ansari prescribed it he asked about our insurance. He said, "It is almost $400 for three pills. If your insurance will cover it, fine. If your insurance will not cover it, let him throw up." Johnny said, "Then someone can pay me $100 every time I throw up." Thankfully we only had to pay $40 for those three beautiful little pills. So far, so good.


I'm gearing up emotionally and mentally for the next couple days. I think we are better equipped to handle what the next couple days have in store, but the unknown looms out there. The "unknowns"hang out with the "what ifs" and wreak havoc on my mental status.


Speaking of my mental status. . .


Yesterday I lost someone so incredibly dear to me. My Aunt Theresa. So many of you have met her, and if you never did then I am so sorry for you. She was the shining light of the Fowler family. No matter what became of the Fowler family over the last several years, I think we can all look back to the old days of family Christmases and gatherings and come to the same conclusion: There wouldn't have been near the laughter and joy without the tiniest member of our family. For those of you who didn't know her, Theresa was an achondroplastic dwarf, a Little Person. Everything about her was fun. She was the "fun" aunt. The one that wasn't afraid to have all of us kids over for a sleepover, even though she had the least amount of room -- she had the most amount of heart. Her love for her family (and I mean the entire family) was immeasurable and unconditional. She and Uncle Jeff didn't have much, but they would give you the world and anything in it if it was within their reach.


They used to live on Dragoon Trail in Mishawaka and one of my favorite memories is when I was a very little girl, maybe 6 or 7 years old, I was staying the night with her. They lived next to a cow pasture that was surrounded by Queen Anne's Lace and we would pick it and feed it to the cows (or at least try). I pulled a big stem out of the ground and smelled the root end. To me, it smelled like carrots so I told her. She told me to look at how pretty the flowering end was. "It looks like a snowflake."

Have you ever looked at Queen Anne's Lace? You should.

It always fascinated me that she could drive a car. She was less than 4 feet tall, and yet she had special pedals on the car so that she could sit on a pillow and drive. The gas and brake pedals were just below the steering wheel. I loved that she had the ability to do that.


She was relentlessly teased by my dad and my Uncle Gene. Inevitably, she was the one to get thrown in the swimming pool, screaming the whole time. To us kids, it was a banner day when we finally had grown taller than Aunt Theresa. (This usually happened sometime around 2nd or 3rd grade.) She never complained about being a Little Person that I ever heard. She would even play the role of Santa's elf at Christmastime. I have countless memories of her, and will cherish every single one of them for the rest of my life. She was the best thing that came in a small package.


Goodbye, Aunt Theresa. I love you so much and will forever miss you. I can't believe I'll never see you again.


(Sherilyn, I could use a happy thought at any time. Love and miss you, too.)