Birthday Wishes

Thanks to everyone for sending me the great birthday wishes. It is great to be 42 -- again!

There are so many things that I would normally ask for on my birthday, you know the normal stuff like a robin's egg blue box from Tiffany's or a day at the spa or (another) trip to someplace warm and tropical. . . but that was before.

It is amazing how "things" just don't mean as much anymore (WAIT! If you have already sent the Tiffany box, I'll accept it!). This morning my first thought wasn't that it was my birthday. It was about Johnny's cancer and his increased dosage for chemo today. My next thought was what to do with Jake since he needed to stay home from school with a tummy bug. My next thought was getting Quinn to school on time and with a nice warm breakfast in his belly. It wasn't until I was drying my hair that I thought, "Oh, wait. . . it's the 28th, isn't it?" Just another day, really.

I did sent up a little prayer to God this morning when I realized that it was my b-day and asked that if I could be so bold, I would like to know that things are going to be OK. I wasn't really asking for a thunderbolt or an alien spacecraft to spell it out in the sky, just maybe something subtle, you know. I kept an eye peeled and my ears perked for the "sign".

When we got to Dr. Ansari's he walked in the exam room looking dapper as always and the first words out of his mouth were, "The CEA is down to 7.9." SEVEN POINT NINE. Boo-Yah! I took that as my sign. Thanks, God. That was every birthday present for the rest of my life wrapped up in one sentence. I'll take it as fair trade.

Dr. Ansari was impressed with the number and reminded us that "normal" is five. Five, as in two-point-nine less than where we stand right now.

The decision was made to boost the chemo dose anyway, since the lab values indicated that it was safe to do so. I said it before, and I'll say it again: Cancer doesn't know who it is dealing with! You cannot mess with the Fighting Toad! I will say, though, that Johnny's isn't feeling well right now, and with this increased dosage I anticipate a rough night for him. Please pray for this to not be the case, but we will tackle what ever this nasty 5-FU hands us.

While over the course of the last six chemo cycles, we have met some of the nicest people. Chemo Mondays are dreaded (even by Johnny, he admitted yesterday) but seeing the Monday "regulars" makes the time spent in the lounger go by quickly. Two ladies, May and Carol, have become quick friends and we enjoy chatting the time away with them. There are others we have met and continue to pray for as well. It is a special community in that infusion center. People share fears and concerns, hopes and helpful hints. A very unique bond forms, and forms quickly. I know it has changed us, as I'm sure it has the others that spend hours infusing away.

So, for the rest of my birthday I will be thankful for the gift of a low CEA level for my Johnny. I also look forward to turning 43 and celebrating life without cancer with the love of my life and the boys. Now that is a gift that will keep on giving!