Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Epilogue

Today marks one month since my heart broke and a large piece of it traveled with my Toad to heaven.

The boys and I are doing as well as could possibly be expected.  We talk to each other a lot, cry together a lot, and even cling to each other when we need to. 

Obviously, the three of us haven't gone a single second without thinking, missing and loving Johnny.  I still expect him to come home, there is so much I have to tell him . . . but, I know.

School has started and with that comes the comfort of a schedule that needs to be followed.  I am still off work with my ankle/foot fractures, and appreciate this time that I've been given to be the mom my kids need right now.  I've pledged to love them as much as both me and Johnny combined.

I'm doing quite a bit of soul searching where returning to work is concerned.  No plans as to what capacity or how much I plan on working when I go back, but I know that there are drastic changes that I have to make due to the nature of my job and the need to be home for my boys.  I am praying daily for guidance.

I can't even begin to use the words "Thank You" again, because it isn't enough.  Every need has been met and that makes moving forward so much easier to tackle.  Every one of you have made that possible.  I love you all.

This will be the last post for The Fighting Toad.  Since it was started to chronicle Johnny's cancer journey, his death was the final chapter.  Thank you for staying with us on the journey and please keep our family, our entire family, in your prayers for a very long time. 

I have been asked if I plan to continue writing and the answer is:  I don't know.  Maybe once my head is clearer and I have everything settled I'll start a new blog. . . maybe.  I'll let you all know.

Here are a few things that Johnny lived by that I'd like to leave you with:
  • Surround yourself with good people.
  • Do the right thing, even if you are the only one doing it.
  • Be a good friend.
  • Follow the rules.
  • Love completely and say it at every opportunity.
May God continue to bless us all.